Good boundaries are key in any healthy relationship….including the relationship you have with yourself
Stand up for yourself. Speak what you need. Speak what you want. Let others around you know how you want to be treated.
Take Care Of You By Setting Healthy Boundaries!
Including the relationship with yourself.
You use boundaries in every aspect of life. Every relationship you have will have different boundaries in it.
Setting a good boundary is allowing the other person to know what is ok and not ok for you.
This is also how you keep yourself in your own power.
Setting a good boundary also allows another to know how you feel and what you like or do not like.
The Boundary Myth
“To set a boundary I must become or be angry.”
If you have allowed yourself to get angry then you already let your boundary get crossed.
It is important to set a boundary when it is small, and that makes it easier to stay relaxed.
You need to respect yourself to set a boundary for yourself but also respect the other by doing so in a kind way.
“If I set a boundary, they won’t like me or won’t love me anymore.”
You will not get more love by giving yourself away and allowing others to treat you poorly just to save you from saying no, or getting firm.
“Once I set a boundary, I can never change it again.”
This rings true for you trusting yourself when it comes to taking care of you and putting your needs forward.
You must build your trust in yourself too.
You are in control of setting your boundary and adjusting to whatever FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU!
You do not have to have the same boundaries with every person.
“If I set boundaries, I am being selfish.”
At first, the first couple times you say No or I need can feel uncomfortable.
BUT the more you do, the better you actually feel inside for you.
The Boundary Rule
THE ONE BEING APPROACHED HAS THE RIGHT TO SET THE BOUNDARY.
That gives you the right to set a boundary if someone is approaching you.
You decide how close you want to allow the person to come and what you need or want from them.
You have the right to say yes or no since you are being approached.
How To Set A Boundary
When setting your boundary, you must believe and mean it.
The intention behind your action is very important.
If you tell your someone what you need for you…but perhaps don’t own that feeling, they may think you don’t mean it and perhaps push the boundary to test it.
You start small and relaxed. You may have to increase the energy and size of how you set your boundary.
If they continue to push you may need to take a small step toward them and look them directly in the eye…while thinking in your mind I am setting a boundary for me and I mean it.
The first times you set your new boundary for YOU….it may take more assertiveness for the other person to know you mean it now.
Healthy boundaries and setting good boundaries are what is needed in any relationship.
Listen, hear them and respond to how you are met.
This is just like any other muscle….we must practice and train that muscle to respond.
It gets easier and easier to stand up for yourself and set boundaries the more you practice them.
Practice just being and listening but offering support……not advice or solutions
Pay attention to how you feel when you set a boundary.
Practice setting boundaries while they are small and everyday.
Bring attention to how you want to be treated and what your values are and then live them.
Make sure you are connected to each other.
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